Well, I am back. I know ya missed me. All 5 of ya. LOL. So a few things to share today.
Watched a couple movies this weekend. Lovely Molly, nothing special and A Cabin in the Woods. It was OK. Supposed to be scary movies but just a couple gross scenes and thats about it.
Kids were here this weekend. Always a good time with them. Friday night we just grabbed some dinner and went to the house. I wasnt feeling well. Terrible headache and just icky feeling. I have cut out all sugar and it sucks. Diabetes was getting out of control so had to take action. No more Pepsi and sweet tea is not fun. So I get water, diet dew and sugar free pink lemonade. I cant stand the fake sweetners, rather just do without. Was in bed at 10. Saturday the kids had bowling league and we went to pool for a bit and then took Lexie to the store so we could get stuff for her Birthday Dinner and I let her pick a cake. We made Shrimp Alfredo with Bowtie Pasta and she got an Ice Cream Cake. We watched some movies last night and everyone was out around 11. They went home around 1 today cause I had a Jump Castle rental to set up and their momma said they left a wreck at home to clean up.
So my baby girl turned 12 on Thursday. Cant believe it has been 12 years for her. She is such an amzing little girl who isnt rushing to grow up, THANK GOD. She is in 6th grade now so she is noticing boys and she has chatted with momma about a few things. I have her holding off on make up for now. I dont mind if she wears a little, but she needs to know she is beautiful without it. I want her to be happy with who she is and not what people want her to be. I dont think any women need it to be beautiful. She is auch a good girl, she gets good grades and stays out of trouble, most of the time. lol. One more year closer to child support freedom. Ugggggghhhh.
Work has been work. Just pluggin away to get things handled best I can. Enough about that.
This is something that has ben bothering me. I was chatting with a girl via text only and everything was going well, we had even planned to meet up and hang out. Well we were having a conversation the other night and she said something about black people. It just rubbed me wrong and I dug a bit to see what she meant. She pretty much said she didnt like black people and they scared her. She said they were mean. Well I couldnt even believe she went there and had the nerve to say something so disgusting and ignorant. I tried to explain I know mean people of all races and ethnic origins. She just felt that way. Ironic part being she complains about being judged and wonders why she cant meet a "God Guy". Well duh, learn to respect all people for the person they are and not the color. I dont see people in color, I see them in compatibility. We get along or we dont. We agree or we dont. So I pretty much cut off the conversation and said good night. Next day I cut it off all together. I cant associate myself with someone who makes such ignorant statements. It would be different if this was a kid, but a grown women! Just shows how stupid and blind people can be. Hard to believe people still really think that way. I know they do, just hate to hear it. People are people, PERIOD!!!! Anyway just kinda sad. She is a sweet girl with such a narrow mindset. Gotta make some changes if she wants changes in her life.
I am still plugging away at the Pizza Cards. Have to find a better way to get in with some fundraisers. I dont have time during the day to visit and e-mail not working so great. We are trying to come up with a Golf Card as well.
NEVER PLAN A FUTURE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS NO FUTURE PLANS FOR THEMSELVES.
Great quote I found on Facebook tonight. Sums up all the women I meet and talk to. They never have any drive to do anything with their lives. They could care less about tomorrow, much less a year or 5 from now. I ask usually pretty early on about what they dream about for the future and if they have anything they are going after in life. Honestly they act like I just said something in Russian and they have no clue what I mean. Makes me lose complete interest in them. I want someone who can dream big and has big plans for their lives. I wont settle for less. She has to support my way of thinking big and be part of trying to obtain big things with life. If not I will just stay single. I am in no hurry and dont have to settle. I just want someone to be happy with, I am not particular about material things, looks, what your past is, how many kids ya have, or if you have money. Dont be content on welfare and food stamps though. Have a plan to get off them. Anyway I could go on forever.
Alrighty I am gonna quit here. Just feel like being a bum. Gonna likely work from home tomorrow. Have plenty of paperwork I need to get done. Have to go get bloodwork in the AM. Gonna get smacked by my doctor. Well at least I am working on the sugar now. Nighty nigt peeps!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Day 26-30 Days of Revalation
Well not on here as much as I would like. Days never seem to have enough hours. Between work, kids and everything else I have my hands in, gets hard sometimes to type on here.
Another busy week at work. I am feeling a lot better about work for some reason. Its like I just finally realized that no matter how upset I get it wont change. So I do my best to keep up, try to work with what we got and hope I can get further ahead every day. For some reason we have one person there who is biggest baby in the world and all they have to do is whine and throw a chidish tantrum and they get their way. Oh well, I will fix the problem for me and roll on. Cant help ignorant people. Some things you do for the good of they people you work with whether you like it or not.
Enough of that. On another note I am trying to do a good deed daily or 2. Took roses to all the women at work today. Most seemed to enjoy it and it put a smile on their face. There are always those couple people who have resigned their life to being miserable and never smiling. Most enjoyed it though. I took out the neighbors garbage can for her. Also sent a free t-shirt to my sister. Good stuff. Almost addictive. Makes ya wanna keep doing things for people.
Have to get my sugar under control. I had not been checking it cause my battery was dead in my meter. I got one tonight. Gonna have to get on it though. I started to have some issues. Have lots of little water blisters on my hands. My hands look like crap now. I checked my sugar and it was 335. Going to up my insulin starting in the morning. Have to get it down and get healthier.
Got the kids this weekend and have to go out of town for some deliveries on Thursday. I think I may take a mental day next week, just to try and re-gain my focus at work. Have to do that every so often. I can work at home and knock out tons of paperwork when I do. Lots of stuff I have to be at the store for though. With all the ups and downs with getting my orders in pieces and not on time for my customers I am forced to do twice the work daily. Mutltiple deliveries, help produce my orders, find orders that have not arrived all instead of selling and making more money for the company and me. Get ym focus back and I will need to start prioritizing better. The systems and people you count on to make sure things are ordered, come in on time, get done on time have to much to keep up with it all. So when things are due no one notices till its late and customers are looking for it. Ok Mental day will help. :)
Didnt get much cleaning out done this past weekend cause I had kids most of it, unlike the plan we had. Ex wanted to change it. Her way or its the wrong way is how I live. Works so why change it. She is a great mom and we get along great so dont get me wrong here. We still have tiffs, rarely, but do.
OK I am ready to crash. Later then I wanted already. Got 2 people tomorrow I am going to chat with about selling my Pizza Cards. Hopefully at least one will do well with it. We will see.
Night All you amazing friends. Couldnt ask for more.......
Another busy week at work. I am feeling a lot better about work for some reason. Its like I just finally realized that no matter how upset I get it wont change. So I do my best to keep up, try to work with what we got and hope I can get further ahead every day. For some reason we have one person there who is biggest baby in the world and all they have to do is whine and throw a chidish tantrum and they get their way. Oh well, I will fix the problem for me and roll on. Cant help ignorant people. Some things you do for the good of they people you work with whether you like it or not.
Enough of that. On another note I am trying to do a good deed daily or 2. Took roses to all the women at work today. Most seemed to enjoy it and it put a smile on their face. There are always those couple people who have resigned their life to being miserable and never smiling. Most enjoyed it though. I took out the neighbors garbage can for her. Also sent a free t-shirt to my sister. Good stuff. Almost addictive. Makes ya wanna keep doing things for people.
Have to get my sugar under control. I had not been checking it cause my battery was dead in my meter. I got one tonight. Gonna have to get on it though. I started to have some issues. Have lots of little water blisters on my hands. My hands look like crap now. I checked my sugar and it was 335. Going to up my insulin starting in the morning. Have to get it down and get healthier.
Got the kids this weekend and have to go out of town for some deliveries on Thursday. I think I may take a mental day next week, just to try and re-gain my focus at work. Have to do that every so often. I can work at home and knock out tons of paperwork when I do. Lots of stuff I have to be at the store for though. With all the ups and downs with getting my orders in pieces and not on time for my customers I am forced to do twice the work daily. Mutltiple deliveries, help produce my orders, find orders that have not arrived all instead of selling and making more money for the company and me. Get ym focus back and I will need to start prioritizing better. The systems and people you count on to make sure things are ordered, come in on time, get done on time have to much to keep up with it all. So when things are due no one notices till its late and customers are looking for it. Ok Mental day will help. :)
Didnt get much cleaning out done this past weekend cause I had kids most of it, unlike the plan we had. Ex wanted to change it. Her way or its the wrong way is how I live. Works so why change it. She is a great mom and we get along great so dont get me wrong here. We still have tiffs, rarely, but do.
OK I am ready to crash. Later then I wanted already. Got 2 people tomorrow I am going to chat with about selling my Pizza Cards. Hopefully at least one will do well with it. We will see.
Night All you amazing friends. Couldnt ask for more.......
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Day 25 Productive Day
Well pretty productive day at work. Friday is gonna be a fly by the seat of my pants kind of day. I have a lot to get done and I really want it done in a short amount of time. I want to enjoy my Friday. Gonna get the kids Saturday morning till Sunday. Missed a day lat weekend so gonna make it up to them. We will surely have a great time.
Been thinking again today about all the changes I need to make. I know its baby steps, its just so hard to get the motivation to do the baby steps even. Quit smoking, diet, get healthy, work out, make more money and keep up with real job. Ugggg Will figure something out to get started with. Just so many...........
Got to talk to an old friend today. That was a hugh bonus to my day. Then had Mooses BBQ for dinner with Stephanie & Clinton. Always amazing company.
Actually had a few people comment and even send me private messages about putting so much personal stuff out there for the world to read. Nothing mean, just kinda like why do it. Lets chat a minute about this.
First and foremost I do this as an outlet for my thoughts. There are many things I dont put here and keep to only my little head. So this is for me. I am my target audience. I appreciate those who have read this to keep up with me and care enough to ask how I am. Know that I am fine. If someone doesnt like something about me then their loss. I am not looking for any one to feel sorry for me about the shit that happens to me. Plain and simple its an outlet for my thoughts. I just dont care if people know about me and what my thoughts are. I would rather them know more up front then find out later and then decide they dont want to know me.
Alrighty, I am gonna try and focus some this weekend and get myself on a better schedule to get things done I need to et done. I need to allot time to my side things, reading, and working on stuff. I still need to work on cleaning out my stuff. I have to much of it and most of it is not used. I will work on it more this weekend. I really want to try and work on my eating habits as well. So maybe clean out the closets and pantry.
I need to start back on my couponing. Some of my stash is starting to get low after a year now. Need to stock back up on some things and try to get more healthy stuff. There it is, my goals for the weekend.
Crashing early tonight, early meeting tomorrow. It should be fun.
Been thinking again today about all the changes I need to make. I know its baby steps, its just so hard to get the motivation to do the baby steps even. Quit smoking, diet, get healthy, work out, make more money and keep up with real job. Ugggg Will figure something out to get started with. Just so many...........
Got to talk to an old friend today. That was a hugh bonus to my day. Then had Mooses BBQ for dinner with Stephanie & Clinton. Always amazing company.
Actually had a few people comment and even send me private messages about putting so much personal stuff out there for the world to read. Nothing mean, just kinda like why do it. Lets chat a minute about this.
First and foremost I do this as an outlet for my thoughts. There are many things I dont put here and keep to only my little head. So this is for me. I am my target audience. I appreciate those who have read this to keep up with me and care enough to ask how I am. Know that I am fine. If someone doesnt like something about me then their loss. I am not looking for any one to feel sorry for me about the shit that happens to me. Plain and simple its an outlet for my thoughts. I just dont care if people know about me and what my thoughts are. I would rather them know more up front then find out later and then decide they dont want to know me.
Alrighty, I am gonna try and focus some this weekend and get myself on a better schedule to get things done I need to et done. I need to allot time to my side things, reading, and working on stuff. I still need to work on cleaning out my stuff. I have to much of it and most of it is not used. I will work on it more this weekend. I really want to try and work on my eating habits as well. So maybe clean out the closets and pantry.
I need to start back on my couponing. Some of my stash is starting to get low after a year now. Need to stock back up on some things and try to get more healthy stuff. There it is, my goals for the weekend.
Crashing early tonight, early meeting tomorrow. It should be fun.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Day 19-24 Oh Yeah
Well, just wanted to drop an update on ya. Couple things. May get a bit deep here. Gotta do that every now and then.
first thing is I really hate being so broke. My bank account is constantly in the hole and I dont ever have a nickel to do anything fun. Try so hard to make something work and it is always so slow or doesnt pan out. Ugggg, OK enough venting about that. Anyone wanna send me like 50K?
Next is I have been thinking more and more about being single lately. Decided I am still happy being single. A friend every now and then is nice, but I have to much going on to treat a woman how she deserves to be treated. I like making people smile and surely there is one I would marry tomorrow if the cahnce came up. Not happening though. I always fall for the wrong people. The wrong people fall for me. Hurts sometimes, but in the end its always the best path for her and me. I do someday want to give a deserving woman of my greatnes, lol, a good life. I dont know how I am going to eat somedays mch less support a relationship. Many say thats not what matters or who cares if we go out and do things, but they dont get that it means very rarely will we get to do anything. I have taught myself to be happy with doing nothing. I love texting friends, playing around via texts or even phone calls, but in the end women dont want to sit around day after day for possibly years and do nothing, because of my broke ass. No matter how much they say it dont matter. Dated a girl not to long ago and somehow she took what we had to be a relationship. She is an awesome girl, but I was clear with her from the beginning that we could only be friends. She said she understood, me being busy or time with my kids being first, but I could tell it bothered her if I didnt have time for her. Sorry, but thats how it is sometimes. She ended up hurt even asing why I broke up with her. I never new we were exclusive. We were not is the point. She took sex to mean boyfriend and girlfriend. It didnt matter how many times I said we were not a couple. I hate that she was hurt. It really sucked we couldnt be friends. Sexx was just fun for us to me and she took it to mean more. I really am upfront and honets when it comes to that. Sex, dont take my man card, is not that important to me. I can handle that alone, but its just an extra that is really fun to me. It can mean something with the right person. And sometimes it does, but was not supposed to in this case. OK, enough about this I jus want to make people happy and let them know someone cares and that not everyone is out for one thing. Cause I am really not.
I recently found myself falling for a girl and in all angles it was not happening. Well now its reality that its not happening. HUrt pretty good. What would such a beautiul established girl see in me and why take such a leap for me. Someday it may be something and someday just happens to be when I am willing to make try and work something out. I need to be financially secure and stable. To many shitty days for me now. I ate cereal, rice and cup of noodles for my meals monday. Clinton took me to dinner at mexican on top of a bowl of cereal yesterday. Just gets tough every now and then. I hate money. Why cant we just hae what we want. Ugggg. I am not upset, cause I didnt need to eat out and at least I had something to eat. Hate though that when a friend calls to go ea with him I have to say I am broke and cant go. Just really sucks.
OK enough ranting about that. I am really content with what I have. I have my kids and I ge to see them very often. They are the most omportant things in the world to me. Dont take this as bitching, just a forum for me to lay out my thoughts.
On anpther note, Alyssa Milano is just amazing. Whos the Boss re runs is on. Wow!!!I always loved her. Between her, Drew Barrymore, and Angelina Jolie I would marry any of them. Yummy. Night peeps!!!!!!!!
first thing is I really hate being so broke. My bank account is constantly in the hole and I dont ever have a nickel to do anything fun. Try so hard to make something work and it is always so slow or doesnt pan out. Ugggg, OK enough venting about that. Anyone wanna send me like 50K?
Next is I have been thinking more and more about being single lately. Decided I am still happy being single. A friend every now and then is nice, but I have to much going on to treat a woman how she deserves to be treated. I like making people smile and surely there is one I would marry tomorrow if the cahnce came up. Not happening though. I always fall for the wrong people. The wrong people fall for me. Hurts sometimes, but in the end its always the best path for her and me. I do someday want to give a deserving woman of my greatnes, lol, a good life. I dont know how I am going to eat somedays mch less support a relationship. Many say thats not what matters or who cares if we go out and do things, but they dont get that it means very rarely will we get to do anything. I have taught myself to be happy with doing nothing. I love texting friends, playing around via texts or even phone calls, but in the end women dont want to sit around day after day for possibly years and do nothing, because of my broke ass. No matter how much they say it dont matter. Dated a girl not to long ago and somehow she took what we had to be a relationship. She is an awesome girl, but I was clear with her from the beginning that we could only be friends. She said she understood, me being busy or time with my kids being first, but I could tell it bothered her if I didnt have time for her. Sorry, but thats how it is sometimes. She ended up hurt even asing why I broke up with her. I never new we were exclusive. We were not is the point. She took sex to mean boyfriend and girlfriend. It didnt matter how many times I said we were not a couple. I hate that she was hurt. It really sucked we couldnt be friends. Sexx was just fun for us to me and she took it to mean more. I really am upfront and honets when it comes to that. Sex, dont take my man card, is not that important to me. I can handle that alone, but its just an extra that is really fun to me. It can mean something with the right person. And sometimes it does, but was not supposed to in this case. OK, enough about this I jus want to make people happy and let them know someone cares and that not everyone is out for one thing. Cause I am really not.
I recently found myself falling for a girl and in all angles it was not happening. Well now its reality that its not happening. HUrt pretty good. What would such a beautiul established girl see in me and why take such a leap for me. Someday it may be something and someday just happens to be when I am willing to make try and work something out. I need to be financially secure and stable. To many shitty days for me now. I ate cereal, rice and cup of noodles for my meals monday. Clinton took me to dinner at mexican on top of a bowl of cereal yesterday. Just gets tough every now and then. I hate money. Why cant we just hae what we want. Ugggg. I am not upset, cause I didnt need to eat out and at least I had something to eat. Hate though that when a friend calls to go ea with him I have to say I am broke and cant go. Just really sucks.
OK enough ranting about that. I am really content with what I have. I have my kids and I ge to see them very often. They are the most omportant things in the world to me. Dont take this as bitching, just a forum for me to lay out my thoughts.
On anpther note, Alyssa Milano is just amazing. Whos the Boss re runs is on. Wow!!!I always loved her. Between her, Drew Barrymore, and Angelina Jolie I would marry any of them. Yummy. Night peeps!!!!!!!!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Day 14-18 Hell Week
Well as much as I need to try and get some sleep, I felt like clearing my mind for a few on here. Today was not a great day. Work is non stop and the worst part is I have to produce orders for myself and I am npt producing sales wise. I work for commission and my pay is based on what I sell. It just doesnt make sense to have sales staff filling the roles in production. Anyway, enough about that. From what I can see it will not change.
My prayer tonight is that everyone finds peace, happiness and joy in their lives. Do whats right, regardless of how it feels to do whats wrong. It can be a tough lesson to learn the hard way. I have always said there are many things to believe in and that are worth fighting for. Fight the good fight and be happy that you fought it. A lesson I need to learn to live by as well. Stand up for what you believe in, speak your mind and resolve all differences. I told my kids a while back a lesson I always want them to remember. Its to never go to bed mad at anyone or with a heavy heart. You never know who may not wake up in the morning. Be at peace with your life and everyone in it. Let life wive out its course and enjoy the ride. You never know where the journey will take you. Some things are meant to be this way or that way.
Will be a hectic day again Friday and then I have the kids this weekend. I love my babies so much and want so much for them. They are the best kids ever.
Ok, enough of that. Good night to all my awesome and amazing friends. I really hope life gives you what you deserve and truly desire. If I can help it along in anyway please feel free to let me know. Thanks for being my friend.
My prayer tonight is that everyone finds peace, happiness and joy in their lives. Do whats right, regardless of how it feels to do whats wrong. It can be a tough lesson to learn the hard way. I have always said there are many things to believe in and that are worth fighting for. Fight the good fight and be happy that you fought it. A lesson I need to learn to live by as well. Stand up for what you believe in, speak your mind and resolve all differences. I told my kids a while back a lesson I always want them to remember. Its to never go to bed mad at anyone or with a heavy heart. You never know who may not wake up in the morning. Be at peace with your life and everyone in it. Let life wive out its course and enjoy the ride. You never know where the journey will take you. Some things are meant to be this way or that way.
Will be a hectic day again Friday and then I have the kids this weekend. I love my babies so much and want so much for them. They are the best kids ever.
Ok, enough of that. Good night to all my awesome and amazing friends. I really hope life gives you what you deserve and truly desire. If I can help it along in anyway please feel free to let me know. Thanks for being my friend.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Day 12 & 13 Couple Long Days
Well Friday was a very welcome day. It was another long day worked till almost 7. Was pretty beat athe end of the day. Went and got some wings and had a couple beers and crashed by 11 last night. Here is the fun part. I slept till after 11. Wow, I was really tired. Been a long week. Had to jump up and go set up a Jump Castle with Clinton, then we went and had Mexican for lunch today. Time we finished lunch and I went to get a prescription filled for my blood pressure medicine, the family called and wanted to have it picked up early because party was over. No problem there, means less of my night wasted. Or so I thought at least. I grabbed a nice cool shower, cause it was hot as hell outside and I sweat like crazy, layed down to cool off and relax and dozed for an hour at least. Finally got up to go grab some dinner around 8. Then went and hung out at Barnes & Noble for a couple hours. Just like to look for new books and read a little bit. Pretty relaxing. I want a Nook Color something terrible. They even went down to $150. Anyone who wants to get me a gift I will love ya forever. :)
So as you can see all my sleep today has me up late doing nothing. Other then this stuff I reflected a bit today on what I hope for in the future. Day by Day is the way to do it, but hard not to think about what might be or could be somewhere down the road. Even if it is months or years. I always dream big so wouldnt expect any less of myself. Keep going and think about the present seems to work best. I beat myself up mainly because the moment is not where I expected to be at this moment. It kinda kills me that I am almost 40 and can not yet see myself being sucessful at something business wise, financially secure and controlling my destiny. I still have some time for sure, so we will see. Just takes one thing to happen and life can change in a moment. For the good or the bad....
Hope its for the good. Well, i am gonna lay down for the night and dream about what could be someday. I know dreams come true for many, when is it my turn? Rock on people of my blog world. Love ya bunches;)
So as you can see all my sleep today has me up late doing nothing. Other then this stuff I reflected a bit today on what I hope for in the future. Day by Day is the way to do it, but hard not to think about what might be or could be somewhere down the road. Even if it is months or years. I always dream big so wouldnt expect any less of myself. Keep going and think about the present seems to work best. I beat myself up mainly because the moment is not where I expected to be at this moment. It kinda kills me that I am almost 40 and can not yet see myself being sucessful at something business wise, financially secure and controlling my destiny. I still have some time for sure, so we will see. Just takes one thing to happen and life can change in a moment. For the good or the bad....
Hope its for the good. Well, i am gonna lay down for the night and dream about what could be someday. I know dreams come true for many, when is it my turn? Rock on people of my blog world. Love ya bunches;)
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