Today was pretty un-eventful. Didn't get to work till around 9. I got up at 630 but fell back asleep saying some morning prayers. Have a bunch of deliveries tomorrow and some cleaning up on some orders and that is about it. I am working from home on Wednesday. I love having that flexibility now. I do lots of paperwork and computer work looking for business. Helps save on gas and keeps me from eating out. Hung out with my friends tonight and had steak wraps that Stephanie made. I got 20 bottles of Dawn dish soap from Bi-Lo for free. Coupons are awesome. Blew off folding laundry for no reason.
So I figured I would talk about my relationship past and current. I have only really loved a handful of girls and only had a few serious relationships. My first true love was Natalie Strickland. I think I was 15 or so then. Awesome girl I met through my brothers. We lasted a couple years till she broke up with me. Pretty devastating to say the least. She is married now and has a little one. I don't communicate with her but have a few mutual friends and have seen a few pics of her. That's about the extent of it. I still know her address, birthday and phone number from High School. Beautiful girl no one could ever figure out what she saw in me. Then I fell in love with a girl named Karen from El Salvador. Was fun while it lasted. She was in College Park where I moved out on my own after high school. Gorgeous girl as sweet as they come. Then had a amazing friendship with a girl who used to date a friend of mine. Her name was Melanie Stephenson. Her and Karen both wrote me constantly at boot camp for the Marines and with out that it would have been hard to handle. While in Marines I only had a few fleeting dating situations, but mostly just "Friends". Saw to many relationships crash in the Marines. After the Marines I met the love of my life Danielle. We married had 2 wonderful kids and divorced about 6-7 years later. She is married now and is an amazing mom. Divorce destroyed me mentally. Was a rough ugly first few years. Still had sometimes to this day. We get along fine now and I am glad she is happy. She is having a baby girl soon. Her hubby refuses to communicate with me for no reason, but oh well, his choice. Childish, but oh well. I do still miss her and would take her back tomorrow, not happening though. Guess I was to focused on things other then my marriage and she gave up on it. Things ere pretty rocky in the end. Been a while now tough and its all good. Past is the past. We are both different people. She is a good mom, I see my kids all the time. We may not agree on some things but we talk them out instead of fighting now. I have had one girlfriend since the divorce. She was kinda nuts and decided she couldn't handle my baggage, despite me being very upfront, and we agreed to call it a day.
So up to current day I am single and have been for a couple years. I work to much and have to much baggage to drag any woman into. It just wouldn't be fair to them. Hoping to get it all worked out on this little venture of trying to improve things. I do miss it greatly some days and most days its fine being single. I do what I want and don't have to answer to anyone except myself. I miss the simple things like a good hug, walking in the rain, being goofy, hanging out and mostly it seems a simple kiss. Surprisingly, I miss sex a bit, but these days its the small things I miss more. If that makes sense? I have always felt very strongly that a guy should be able to take care of a woman. I can't even handle myself right now. I couldn't go out and enjoy a dinner or a movie. I sit around the house because I cant afford anything else. Pretty sure most women would be bored with that. I am content just want to be stable. I am driven to make a good future, I don't mind baggage at all from women. I can handle it all as long as its getting better. My kids come first no matter what. I don't need parenting advice. I like to joke, I am a hugh smart ass and like to laugh about lots. All I want is someone who will care no matter what it is and NEVER give up trying and dreaming big. Last girlfriend said I needed to dream more realistically. That's no fun... Once I have some more stability, which may be never, I will work on a relationship, surely not looking for one now. It could happen, but would be a miracle for sure. There are a good handful of girls I have met in the past, who I would surely like to know better, so maybe one day. Most are married though and the rest surely could do lots better. Just for the record I would NEVER dis-respect a marriage or relationship.
Gonna do some Bible reading and may crash before posting about it tonight. Pretty tired, for no real reason. Gonna talk a bit about my work ethics, drive and constant thoughts of ideas for a business to make extra money. Will give you a small dose of how my mind races thinking of new ideas all the time. May toss in some of my hopes and dreams for the future. Remember I dream big...
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